It was a pretty difficult week. The kids kept fighting and I kept grounding them. Moments of weakness and frustration that left me feeling guilty, berating myself for being a bad mom…to quote my youngest, I was “a meanie”.
I felt I wasn’t doing enough, reading the Bible to them enough, guiding them enough, protecting them enough, disciplining them enough and being patient enough. I wasn’t enough. And I knew it.
Heard a preaching on this verse relating it for the first time to parenting and immediately felt Him speak to my tortured mommy soul. “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.” That’s exactly how I felt. I felt like my best efforts weren’t working…like I was laboring in vain. I felt the strain, the constant mental double-guessing and then the inevitable self-condemnation at the end of the day.
But the truth was, He was reminding me, I wasn’t raising these kids alone. This “house” (my kids’ lives) had the best designer/contractor there was! I just didn’t see He had His hand on this “construction project” the whole time. (My rookie design skills were showing their flaws, LOTS of them, and I needed help from the expert, badly.)
First step, take a deep breath (five, big, deep ones). Pray. Ask for help. Remember they are His kids first.
Prayers we pray over them at night and prayers we pray for wisdom and patience over our weary parental selves at night reach Him. He hears them, He knows what we need. His grace abounds. (He can top us up with the patience, strength, love, wisdom we need). I just have to let go of the reins.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”
You’re building this house, Lord. I labor with you. My labor is not in vain because You are guiding me. Your hand is on this family. Your hand is on our kids. Let me “cast my cares upon You.” and really “give/bestow/throw” them to You because You are a faithful God. And a good Father.
I find relief in this promise, knowing that I am not raising them on my own but with Someone who already knew them before I did. “Train up a child in the way He should go and when He is old He will not depart from it.” Help us teach them how to love You above all else .”Love the Lord Your God with all your mind, soul and strength.”
Thankfully, the good days and the I-am-the-worst-mommy-in-the-world days will all even out in His faithful hands–for I believe as long as we allow Him to “build” this house, He can fill in the gaps of our inconsistencies and can heal the mistakes made by our rookie parenting.
He is the faithful Builder and we are His house. I’m pretty sure the same God who created this vast, amazing, awe-inspiring universe is the same God who is designing, and building my life as well as my children’s.
(Good thing, His design skills are much better than mine!)
